I Got Swept Away

I haven’t updated for a really long time… I consider this my ‘public blog’ as opposed to the one I keep on myspace where a lot of my school friends have one too. I got straight As the whole of my freshmen year. This was very hard. I am not a geometry person, but with the help of a teacher who gives out a lot of extra credit and a lot of books like geometry for dummies, I got a 93 :). English almost was bad, my teacher graded on completion for a huge packet. I didn’t answer three questions out of the 100 and got 50 percent - my video project (we had to make a video with a story plot of our choosing using Shakespearean language) had a lot of extra credit due to the fact that I wrote the script and filmed it which also ended my year with a 93. All others where above, even world history with Hendricks. That’s my best because I love it! Actually, band I got a 113…

Track season was great. I ran the 3200 every meet. I won second place, first place, and third, throughout the season. I was alternate for everything about 800 meters in regionals! Brassline rocked, we may have had to play hard music over our head with way too hard drill but we did it! We learned a lot musically. Brassline has plans for becoming independent from the school which means harder cut tryouts - I’m hoping to make first mellophone next season! It was so much fun. We are getting a new marching band director, a little of both good and bad. Bad at the moment because I have to miss band camp which means going into marching season, I personally won’t know the director and I was promised a spot by the old director even with missing bc, might have to pull some strings with the drill writer…hahaha…

The reason I’m missing band camp? I’m going to take AP Gov for a month at Princeton University through JSA - Junior Statesmen of America. I’ll get to visit the United Nations, debate, everything, all day politics. I leave for Princeton in about 11 more days. I’m really excited…and scared out of my mind. I met some kids going on facebook. They are like all the politically active over achievers from every state. AHHH! I think this experience will be good for me. I’ll be doing my own laundry, meeting people with similar interests, and my mother says ‘I’ll feel what it’s like to be average in school’. I guess so, but when I start my sophomore year it’s going to be fairly easy theoretically, I’ll be taking my first in school AP classes - but Hendricks isn’t letting me take ap bio at the same time as ap gov, regardless of the fact that I have already have taken it by the time school starts. She knows best though, but my aps will be filled with upperclassmen! AP psychology and environmental science - the two ‘easiest’ ap classes. I don’t think easy is a good word, but it’s what I can come up with right now. I don’t want to go into it too confident though. The summer work for psychology is fairly challenging and environmental is going to stretch my views out a little. Ap gov at school should be okay…with a bunch of seniors..since I’ll be getting prepared from JSA at Princeton. I just realized I’ve been spelling psychology wrong for a while now thanks to spell check.

This summer I started off going to LA, California to see some relatives. It was really relaxing. I then visited San Diego where I surfed (For the first time!) and had time to read as many books as I could. We finished our trip with a great preformance of Cats the musical. In a couple days I’m going fishing and tomorrow I’ll do some band geek things.

I am the Ugly Smoke on the Horizon.

“You know something? I think I’ve reached a point in my life where a phase I was going through is over. It’s a little disappointing. The ‘phase’ I was in let me write creatively, draw unique things, think ideas from different perspectives. Now, I feel pretty average. There is nothing wrong with being average, it’s just weird to suddenly see something one day and wake up the next day seeing something else.

Sometimes, I miss that something.”

That is the ending paragraph to a private blog I have. One where I talk about shallow things or nothing at all.

I go to school earlier then most kids because I fit in seven classes a day instead of six, we call it zero hour. During winter, we don’t have things like daylight savings time or anything, so I would walk to my bus stop in the frigid wind and I would turn on my ipod and just sit there, waiting.

Sometimes, I wished I could sit there in the cold forever.

It’s kind of like right now only better. Quite music, a night sky, and room to think. All the space in the world to think. Then something to remind you you’re still needed on Earth. The cold wind biting my cheeks and the concrete rough against my hands and uncomfortable to sit on. Now I see the dust, still. Look closer though, a whole other world of dust mites and other small things.

In four years, you won’t catch me around her watching dust pile up. You won’t catch me up at that ungodly hour. You’ll see me in a car behind the steering wheel, you’ll see me in an office with heaters, but no instrument leaning against me. You’ll see me without a overstuffed backpack and nothing spelling out the words cross country.

You might not even see my face, determined to never stop, showing all your teeth in a grimace, saying that this was tough.

Mister Time you are so cruel. You spread out the year ever so slowly but you keep track of when it is going to end, then even you become eager for this torture to end and you speed it up, only make the torture come all at once as us, and we don’t know what to do. So, we’ll run.

I don’t know why I run.

It’s the same feeling as the bus stop. No rush rush rush push push push for no avail. No, instead you can just feel. Maybe, it’s really living.

I ran at Cienega Hill, maybe a different name to you, and I found a bridge. I tunnel. Well constructed but hidden and made out of wine racks. It reminded me of my childhood days and it’s someplace I want to visit, imagine that!

I need to get out of here - here being this routine.

What would I do without this routine? Have adventures. The question that really needs answering is if those adventures will lead to success. I would like to think my routine does or if that’s just the pressure made from the routine.

I hate school. I hate grades.

I hate them telling you it’s okay not to get As, but the moment you don’t, the get dissapointed and say you need to study study study as if that’s not what you aren’t already telling yourself. It bothers me more that they don’t trust me to want to bring them up, don’t trust that I can. I don’t need help and honestly, even if I have As, I don’t much like talking about it. You are the routine that grinds and grinds against me, and you know what? High school seems to be dumbing down all of us.

I keep caring for silly things like who is dating who. Girls hug eachother because they’ve been separated for 12 hours max. Screaming OH MY GAWD when I am standing right there. Then I’ve seen those smart kids stop caring and just accepting the easy way out. I’d do that too, stop taking honors, but the easier the class is the harder it is to get a good great because I’ve got some mild ADD or some priority issues where if it isn’t hard, why should this homework help me? I can’t stand some of these ignorant kids though. I’m probably the ignorant one but my loves, there is more to life then high school social life. It’s not that that’s all they talk about, it’s how they talk about it and for once I want someone to ask me how and why instead of who and what.

I’ve been tempted to just go to the library during lunch and find me own little corner, but that’s where some kids play video games and then that article that said antisocial kids are less intelligent makes me worry. Though right now I sound petty, I don’t think you can deny you’ve felt like me before with just a different plotline.

I can’t believe I’ve given up jazz next year for some AP class and have to take symphonic band.

I can’t live without my jazz, it’s my creativity outlet and my class where no one conforms. I know the band director is just happy we show up, this group is different. We do what we want and we play what sounds good to us. We just like music. It’s hard to explain I guess, but it’s the personality I like. I suppose if you look at my outwardly, I am the symphonic band kid, who just plays the notes on the paper, but I want nothing more then to be the rebel who makes up her own notes because it’s fun. The symphonic band kid who admires the jazz kids. No actually, I’m a jazz kid trying to prove something.

That sounds familiar.

Haha, I remember. They say that female trumpet players always have something to prove.

What if I wasn’t a trumpet player? What if I didn’t play music?

I’d be different just because the people I’ve met on my musical career has shaped me. I’d still be me though, I’d be trying something out and no doubt I couldn’t stand playing the flute, but I could play the violin, because I’ve seen the sweat drip off the string players forehead, like how the trumpet player’s face turns red and he shakes. I have seen the flute player bow her head but the trumpet and the string player, they fight it. The sax? He simply rides it.

At competition the famous man told us to simply play with passion and if we played it perfectly, he wouldn’t call us good, because if music was perfect why don’t we just play the machine notes, unfeeling. We wouldn’t. Concerts we go to see the musician sing, to feel the vibration.

Brassline they keep fighting us to be perfect, I want it to sound good, yes, but I don’t want to be a machine. I think we all play like a machine and we are so much a machine, it sucks. We have nothing. We aren’t great.

It’s okay by me, I just want them to be proud of our hard work, because brassline is kicking my butt.

I wish I was a dancer. Her body is her passion and she moves it to a false heart beat.

Thump

Thump

Thump

This is how the beat drops..

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You Are One in a Million

On Friday was the jazz fest at Sahuarita High School. It was pretty fun, my jazz band is hilarious. We got an on stage clinic and they improved our rhythm section, though they weren’t bad to start with. Today we learned that our bari sax player got an award for soloing and our trumpet section got an award as well! I was very happy because where I was standing, we sounded a little off, but I’m so happy! We, as a trumpet section, beat CDO, who happens to be our rival band. The other band that received a trumpet award was Tucson High, but they deserved it. In fact, Brian from JazzWerx was in that band. Brian is great on improv and loves jazz.

The next day was a Saturday and I had all day brassline practice. I literally mean ALL day. It started at 9am and ended at 9:30pm. Our shirts should simply say something to the affect of - Yes. We are VERY intense. This was a good practice for all of us mellophones. Ben brought his friend Stephanie who had marched mellophone before herself. She worked with us a lot and when we came out of the music room, we played great. Now the challenge is to memorize this crazy music that looks like it should belong to a woodwind player, there are so many notes on the page and I can’t do what I do in marching band. In marching band I never had to sit down with a piece for anything more then maybe 20 minutes at most. I played most of it by ear, but since the mello part is so different from everyone elses, hard music, and in a different key then trumpet, well I can’t do that.

Of course it left me very tired. I used to think marching band wasn’t hard at all. Anyone should be able to play and make funny shapes. That was before I joined it. It’s actually very hard. Remember, I’m also a long distance runner so I’m not exaggerating or anything. It’s very fun and rewarding though.

You can actually check out our indoor brass schedule at http://cienegaindoorbrass.wordpress.com/.

Make room in your schedule to come and see us :).

Alright, so I just got back from track practice an hour or two ago.

My primary is definitely the two mile, the most you can run in track.

I’m not sure but I think a lot of people from long distance/cross country are doing the mile or half mile, or even the 200! I don’t know, going that fast kills me. I like to pace myself but two miles is still shorter then a 5k (3 miles) so I hope I don’t die on this one. It’d be pretty embarrassing too…because I’ve done that before. The first time I’ve ever ran a mile my fastest. I’m pretty sure no one remembers though. Today in practice we had to do 10 sets of 200 meters at 35 - 45 seconds. Now, I’m even more dehydrated then I was and my nose was on fire for the longest time. I was not meant to go that fast. Though, I should probably hydrate myself more. Even if we just ran for 30 minutes out in the desert my throat would be killing me, so who knows, maybe this was better for me.

I must keep in mind that I’m only doing track to keep in shape for cross country.

I guess I’m in a good mood if you can’t tell.

I’m very exhaused though.

Last night I realized I had a rough draft due first hour and I hadn’t started it, but I finished by 11. Unfortunately, this morning my printer wasn’t connected correctly so it took my mother and I awhile to figure out how to burn it to a cd. I was late for zero hour, but so was my teacher so I was marked on time.

Collin had told me to simply skip zero hour, but I hate doing that. Plus, it looks like you’re ditching to the school. Well, I guess you are, but I don’t need to explain to the attendance office that I needed a good great in world history! Haha, I wrote a pretty good paper though I must say. I finished printing it from the band room right as the bell rang. I have to make up a math and history test tomorrow because jazz fest took up the whole day.

If I Burn Then I Burn For You

Well, track started this week. Yesterday I worked with the discus coach and a bunch of girls and did some workouts that really worked on our abs and thighs. Let me tell you - I’m so sore. This makes me happy though. It took me awhile to figure out what my sport is, but finally, m freshmen year of highschool, I found it. It’s running.

There are three things in life that make me happy.

Brassline

Good friends

and pushing my limits - running.

Have you ever done something so hard you’ve had to tell yourself over and over again that you can do it? It’s like the little train in the book but this time it’s real. It’s something you keep doing over and over again. Something that even when you can’t see the finish line, you go a little faster. It feels good to push yourself to the limit like that. I don’t know if it’s the satisfaction of completing the task or the feeling you get while you do it.

Training for discus is interesting too. For those of you who don’t know, discus is throwing a frisbee shaped object as far as you possibly can. The discus weighs about the weight of your backpack and is made of metal. Coach says that you can be as strong as a rock but if you don’t have the technique, that discus isn’t going anywhere. It’s kinda funny to study the pictures of throwers to figure out the form. They are the most muscular people in the world but how they throw is a delicate art. Maybe I just like it because building that muscle for an extra edge - the muscle building that makes me sore - is part of pushing myself and growing into the athlete that I want to be. It makes me happy.

I don’t know.

Being a teenager is weird.

One minute you’re the happiest person in the world, the next you feel like laying in the mud and heaven forbid anyone see you do it. Though, sometimes I wish someone could see me fail and help me up.

I mean, I am perfectly capable of getting up and doing it, but isn’t everything better with a little company?

Well, today jazz band was frustrating.

We have competition this Friday (I’ll have to miss track practice).

Today, our band director was off doing something with EAC Honor Band so we where left to ourselves. The whiteboard had all the specific instructions and of course we didn’t do it. Sure, we practiced a little but we totally blew off bellwork. It was just frustrating because this is my first year in highschool band. My past jazz bands have always been slightly professional because I’ve shoveled out a couple hundred bucks to play for a couple hours a week. We would preform pretty seriously. Jazz was some people’s whole life. Here, it’s simply another class. Though, it wouldn’t be fair to say people just do it for the fine arts credit because I know a lot of them are in their second and third year of jazz, but no one has any heart. I don’t know if I do or not, but it’s just weird. I don’t know, we always do fine when it comes down to it for gigs. We just happen to be good at improvisation. Go figure. I don’t know, I got grumpy at our fourth chair trumpet player because he’s so different from what my ideal is. He thinks jazz isn’t about being the best. He says it’s about playing loud and having fun. Yes, it is about having fun, but it’s also a discipline. You can’t just play improv all day because you’re in a group and that means not everyone can play what they want at once. When that happens it is no longer music - it’s borderline chaotic. I guess it’s discipline vs. rigidity.

Indoor Brass is doing alright. I’m finally getting the mellophone. Well, I’m improving at least. It still leaves me out of breath, especially the music we’re playing. Ben and Kenny, our instructors, say it would be challenging for them. They say it’s drum corp level. That’s exciting. Hopefully we’ll be able to pull it off. I know it’s the hardest music I’ve ever played and to march at the same time? Geez. I wouldn’t be so worried about it but in Indoor Brass we play on a mat on the basketball court meaning there is only two people in my section (I play main/first part!) so if there is a mess up, it’ll be noticeable from the closeness of our audience and the lack of noise to cover up mistakes. We are quite the formidable sound in the gym though. Of course when we march, our music goes down a level just because it takes more physical strength, lung strength, and coordination : All at the same time. I don’t know. I’m excited to pull this off. It’s quite the adventure. I’ll have to let you know when we put all three movements (movements = parts/songs to complete the main theme of the show) on the floor. Our shows theme is <<En Route<< and we’re playing selections from Princess Monoke, Spirted Away, and Journey I believe? It’s intense.

Ahhhh so registration for next years classes are next week. Freshmen get last priority unfortunately. I’m okay with that. I’m topcat+ though! Topcat+ is a special privilege you receive at my school for upholding good citizenship grades and good grades in general. One of our privileges is priority registration. This is good because classes get filled up quickly, especially the ones I take because some are considered junior classes either because I skipped a year of that class previously or because I’m taking an AP class that is put down as recommendation as a certain year class.

It seems like everyone wants to be valedictorian. This is driving me crazy. It’s making things a whole lot harder. Stephen and I decided valedictorian is the person who is willing to cut in line and find their way through the worst storms in the ‘system’. Like my book I was reading about the study of the top kids. They go through so much stress and do pretty much anything to achieve their seat in the top 5%. You’d think we’re the good calm kids, but it’s getting pretty cut throat even in freshmen year. I think by senior it might be easier because some of the competition would have been weeded out. It’s all about who you know really. Hmm, though I love pretty much a lot of my teachers. Especially my world history teacher who is known throughout all grade levels as being hard and tough. She also teaches AP US History, apparently the hardest class on campus. She’s so great though. I’m moving into her Gifted Seminar Advisory Base sometime this week or next week. It’s for students who where in ELP. She was kind enough to put me in because she says I’m gifted even though I never finished testing and the parts I did finish I only got 96% when I needed 97%? I don’t know, I love discussing things with her and her classes. It’s a lot of fun. I needed to get out of my current Advisory Base anyway. It’s ‘musician’s study hall’. I didn’t pick it I just one day got that class. It’s easy enough because days I have it a lot of kids who are in my period after it are in that AB.

Grades get hard to maintain with a lot of extracurriculars by the way. In case you didn’t know. It’s an fyi - A warning perhaps? But without them I wouldn’t have much to wake up in the morning for! Something to work for.

Hello world!

This is my first post.

Honestly, I do not know what compelled me to write a blog. I mean, I do have a blog but it’s via my myspace page and that’s no fun. It’s really just a collection of things that I wrote when I wanted to share things about myself and life at random times. I’ll post maybe once every two months or so? I would post more but it makes me a little nervous, as if I’m being annoying for posting too much. Here, I really can’t be annoying because no one is forcing you to read this. On myspace and facebook it sends alerts to my (certain) friends that I wrote a blog. That bothers me. Now that I think about it, it probably bothers me more then it bothers them. Anyway, I’m still going to post here. Who can resist calling a website titled fiftythousandtortillas your home?

Now, I’m guessing this is the part where I tell you all the facts about me. I already did that on my ‘profile’, but I can’t figure out how to look at it the way that you would see it.

There isn’t really too much to say though.

I am your typical high school student who does too much because she thinks it would look very spiffy on her applications to colleges. What I do makes up who I am though, the more I do it the more I talk about it, so what I am interested in would be a good bet that’s what the majority of my blog will talk about.

Erg, you know what I just realized? Talking about myself likes this makes me feel really vain, but like I said, you’re the one reading this :).

I’m a cross country runner. I run long distance in track and throw the discus. I’m also a trumpet and mellophone player. When I’m not doing any of those things I’m drawing or just trying to keep my grades up. Like every good blog should do, it is actually the way I procrastinate from doing things homework related.

AKA I would LOVE school if we didn’t receive homework.

Right now though, school is alright. In general.